KISS KISS, BANG BANG Reviewed by Harvey S. Karten
Warner Bros
Grade: C-
Directed by: Shane Black
Written by: Shane Black, from Brett Halliday's novel "Bodies
Are Where You Find Them"
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan,
Corbin Bernsen, Dash Mihok, Larry Miller, Rockmond Dunbar,
Shannyn Sossamon, Angela Lindvall
Screened at: Warner Bros., NYC, 10/17/05 If you’ve never seen a movie where a man gives a dog the finger–and then regrets what he’s done–you could check out Shane Blake’s new film “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.” In the story, Harry Lockhard (Robert Downey Jr.) has had the misfortune of losing a finger when a door slams on his hand. He puts the digit into a bucket of ice only to find, to his horror, that a large and furry Briard has jumped up, seizing the finger, then chewing and swallowing it. Unfortunately, that scene is the only good reason to see this pic, which features so many wisecracks that the story is just an excuse for the one-liners, the vast majority of which fall as flat as the principal dish at the International House of Pancakes. Director Black (“Lethal Weapon”), who adapted Brett Halliday’s novel “Bodies Are Where You Find Them” for the screen, tries so hard to be cute that he weaves a convoluted tale which, Downey’s intrusive and sophomoric narration notwithstanding, fails to cohere into narrative shape. The title comes from both James Bond and Pauline Kael, which is also the designation of Kael’s book of reviews. The point is that all movies are about sex and/or violence. Robert Downey’s character, Harry Lockhart, is a petty thief in New York who, chased by the cops after a bungled heist runs into an office holding auditions for an upcoming Hollywood thriller. He impresses the producers so much that he is sent to L.A. to play the role of a private investigator. As Harry narrates the tale, bringing the audience into the yarn, he acts out his role, first in meeting a real private eye, Gay Perry (Val Kilmer)–who is gay, get it? The encounter puts Harry into the detective business where he discovers a bevy of female corpses, at least one of which is placed in his room in an attempt to get the cops to pin the murder on him. He also runs into Harmony Lane (Michelle Monaghan), a woman he had known in high school who took on every kid in her class and presumably the football team–everyone, that is, except Harry. Since Harmony believes that Harry is, in truth, a detective, she urges him to stick to the case to solve the mystery. Among the scenes is one involving Harry’s being tortured by an electric current attached to you-know-what, as not only Harmony, but also Gay Perry (in a suited-up role in which Val Kilmer plays against type), keeps motivating the newfound classmate to continue the pursuit. The second half of the film brings out the firearms and the car chases that we in the audience seem to demand of pulp fiction, even of send-ups of the subgenre. While the age difference between Robert Downey and Michelle Monaghan make it hard to believe that they were high school classmates, that’s the least of the problems. The picture’s dilemma is that the plot is so byzantine that it’s difficult to care about any of the characters or to appreciate the mock-seriousness of the parody. The story is divided by narrator Downey into several chapters in the style of Raymond Chandler’s stories. In my day, Mickey Spillane was the pulp fiction author of choice, when paperbacks sold for a quarter and Spillane’s tales had the “hot parts” that we kids, finding raunchy stuff unavailable on the screen or in most novels, read under the covers. Sadly, the movie can be described by the hackneyed term “ a ride,” but a ride with no-one steering is not amusing. Chandler, Spillane, even Frank and Joe Hardy and Nancy Drew, need not fear that this cockamamie parody will ruin their reputations. Rated R. 102 minutes © 2005 by Harvey Karten
harveycritic@cs.com Member: NY Film Critics Online | 
