CARS

Reviewed by Harvey S. Karten
Walt Disney Pictures
Grade: C-
Directed by: John Lasseter
Written by: Dan Fogelman, John Lasseter
Cast: Voices of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt,
Larry the Cable Guy, Cheech Marin, Tony Shalhoub, Michael Keaton
Screened at: Loews 34th St., NYC, 6/11/06
Opens: June 9, 2006

“Cars” is about as interesting as a ten hour drive around Passaic, New Jersey without a break for the rest room or even a vending-machine peanut-butter on cracker sandwich. While John Lasseter, its director, reaches for sentiment, the film lacks wit, humor and anything whatever that could appeal to adults. The banal dialogue and face-less autos are enough to discourage the audience members from looking at their beloved cars with a smile on the face and could, in fact, be considered a sequel to Al Gore’s presentation in “An Inconvenient Truth”–motivating us to give up our traditional wheels in favor of bikes.

Though A-list stars perform as the voices of the various vehicles, namely Owen Wilson as the full-of-himself Lightning McQueen, Paul Newman as the somewhat raspy Doc Hudson, Larry the Cable Guy in the role of Mater (he’s a tow truck: Tow Mater, get it?), and John Ratzenberger as Mack the truck; Lasseter could have just as easily used off-Broadway actors to read Dan Fogelman and John Lasseter’s script into the microphones. On this 20th anniversary of Pixar, newly acquired by Disney, it’s a shame that the spark plugs don’t light up the screen in the same way that Lasseter’s 1995 movie “Toy Story” and his even better follow-up in 1999, “Toy Story 2" welded killer CGI with a human story of friendship and the need for acceptance. This time around, the theme is arguably that we should stop the world and get off, at least for a while; to scuttle the fast track in favor of smelling the daisies.

The tale begins on the aforementioned fast track as its star, NASCAR racer Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson is his one unfunny role) ends up in a dead heat with Chick Hicks (Michael Keaton) and King (Richard Petty), requiring a run-off in California in seven days. As Lightning takes the main highways to the Coast, he is stuck in the hick town of Radiator Springs–where the landscape reminds one of Utah, New Mexico and Arizona. His stunts land him in court, judged by Doc Hudson (Paul Newman) where he’s sentenced to fill in the asphalt on the town’s road. As Lightning, a loner by tradition, meets a beautiful Porsche (Bonnie Hunt), a tow truck (Larry the Cable Guy) and a broken-down van (George Carlin) that’s hip enough to use organic products to keep on trucking, he learns the importance of friendship. But with friends like these...(fill in the rest).

The principal audience for this technical albeit soulless wizardry might be fans of the NASCAR races in America’s red states, but even some Republicans have enough sense of humor to be bored by the banter and chatter, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. While I don’t judge movies by audience reaction, I noted that at the regular screening of “Cars” two days after its opening, ninety percent of the audience bolted even as the end credits included additional animation and some new music. This pic does not run out of gas: it never had any.

Rated G. 116 minutes © 2006 by Harvey Karten
harveycritic@cs.com Member: NY Film Critics Online