CRANK Reviewed by Harvey S. Karten
Lionsgate Films
Grade: C+
Directed by: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Written By: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Cast: Jason Statham, Amy Smart
Screened at: Loews 34th St., NYC, 9/1/06
Opens: September 1, 2006 They say herbs are good for you, but the one injected into the hero of “Crank” has side-effects that you’d want to avoid. Needled with a Chinese herb that is actually a poison with no antidote, macho man Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) must continue to stay in motion, or at least in a state of excitation that allows his heart to beat wildly. If he slows down, relaxes, or heaven forbid goes to sleep, he dies. The idea is lifted from Jan De Bont’s 1994 movie “Speed”–about a bus that triggered to explode if it slows down below 55 mph–yet the concept is nonetheless an original one as it applies directly to a human being. But the picture’s originality does not save it from being yet another terminally silly video game with one-dimensional acting that could easily outlast audience patience in one half of its brief eighty-one minutes’ running time. Jason Statham, known to his fans for his flying roles in “The Transporter” series, takes the poison seriously and tries to stay alive, though he should be aware that given the herb’s properties, he is doomed. People do want to live, if even for another couple of hours, a motivation without which this pic could not have been made. Chelios finds out about his condition via a video from a vindictive Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), a man who could have killed Chelios on the spot but prefers to savor his enemy’s anxieties about dying. Understanding that he must keep his heart beating rapidly (the organ is frequently shown by directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who are credited with the script), he resorts to running, snorting coke, squeezing nose drops containing epinephrine, frying his hand in a waffle iron, and best of all, having sex with his lovely but ditzy girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart). In fact Neveldine and Taylor draw some originality in that last category–though such would seem impossible given the medium’s obsession with sexuality–by having the two perform from front and back in broad daylight in L.A.’s Chinatown before a crowd of amazed and giggling residents of the area. The pic features some interesting side roles, particularly that of Chelios’s sympathetic but phlegmatic doctor (Dwight Yoakam), a man who does his best to keep his patient going despite the knowledge that the treatment is strictly temporary. “Crank,” which gets its title from the hero’s need to keep himself cranked up in order to survive, features the usual vid-game action, including a bareass motorcycle ride and a car chase through a restaurant and shopping mall, a chopper provided for the big showdown between the doomed Chelios and his enraged killer. The violence is graphic but cartoonish enough for the studio to avoid a rating stronger than “R.” Rated R. 81 minutes 2006 by Harvey Karten
harveycritic@cs.com Member: NY Film Critics Online | 
