The Night Before Thanksgiving

'Twas the night before T-day And everyone's snoring,
And why, might you ask..... 'Cause this pattern's so BORING.
Record rains back in June Gave us much cause to swoon,
But by end of the summer We all sang a new tune.

After three months of drought centered in the mid-'Lantic,
The forecasters were stymied, The farmers were frantic.
As the days became shorter And the leaves red and gold,
There still came no water And now uh oh.....no cold!

"Hey, looks like no problem," Cried some folks on the Net,
"Lack of rain we can deal with 'Cause soon we'll be wet."
"But this pattern must change," Sighed some others who know,
"For rain without cold Means just that.....rain, not snow!"

So to get a fresh take on this snow deprivation,
I consulted my neighbor for his own expectation
Of when it might snow and when it might blow.....
He was out on the porch with the hog, don't you know.

Bill was pacing the porch all decked out in red flannel,
While Phil still seemed bored by the all-weather channel.
"Hey Bill, watcha know, how ya doin,' how's Phil,
Is he forecasting these days with any more skill?"

With the holidays coming I'd expected good cheer
But the most Bill would offer was his patented sneer.
"Look, son, get lost, ain't got time for you now,
I'm much too damn busy tuning up this here plow!"
 
"Now hold on there Bill, don't get all in a tizzy,
I can see that as usual you're tied up and busy.
It's just I can't wait, I wanted to know
If you'd venture a guess for the first widespread snow?"

When he heard the word 'snow' he just stopped in his tracks
And he fumbled for something from deep in his slacks.
Then he ran in the house and came back with a bag
Filled with old forecasts from Walston and Drag.

When he found what he wanted his face started to glow
As he showed me his dates for the first real good snow.
"Look, son, I told you, way back last September
When our first snow would be.....you just don't remember."

"Yeah I know what you said, but I'm sure gettin' worried,
'Cause it's almost December and we haven't been buried.
If this pattern keeps up with a trough in the West,
We'll be lucky to pull one good snowfall at best."

"The pattern will change," he snorted and huffed,
"You're just bent out of shape from the forecast you muffed.
You called for a snow twenty-third or the fourth,
And plenty of cold from out of the north.

It's fine if you forecast many months in advance
But snow this November? Hell no, not a chance!"
As he stalked away laughing towards the edge of the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.....

Oops. Wrong holiday again.....

When he got to the edge of the porch, near the rail,
I noticed a turkey all hearty and hale.
"Hey Bill," I yelled out, "so what's with the bird?
A replacement for Phil? I think that's absurd!"

"Au contraire," he just laughed, "I've been getting him plump,
As a present for you, you forecasting chump!
Now mark down my words, and don't you dismiss this.....
There'll be two heavy snows within one week of Christmas."

And as he and the hog disappeared in the night,
I walked home with the turkey.....geez what a sight.
And so ends this tale, no more can I scrawl.....
"Happy Thanksgiving," I say, "to everyone!"

Edited 10/25/07   by  Brooke