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#1 of 14 Posted Nov-4 4:43 PM

From Tony Tiger Posts 2281 Last 7:58 PM
To All [Msg # 74213.1 ]

(Monty Python's Flying Circus, of course....................................)

Watch it at...............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM  

Scripting at..................
http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/joke.html  

And here it is............................................

Funniest Joke in the World

Opening Scene:
A suburban house in a boring looking street. Zoom into upstairs window. Serious documentary music. Interior of small room. A bent figure (Michael Palin) huddles over a table, writing. He is surrounded by bits of paper. The camera is situated facing the man as he writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.

Voice Over:
This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes.
In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die... laughing.

Ernest stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile slowly spreads across his face, turning very, very slowly to uncontrolled hysterical laughter... he staggers to his feet and reels across room helpless with mounting mirth and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.

Voice Over:
It was obvious that this joke was lethal...
no one could read it and live...

Ernest's mother enters. She sees him dead, she gives a little cry of horror and bends over his body, weeping. Brokenly she notices the piece of paper in his hand and picks it up and reads it between her sobs. Immediately she breaks out into hysterical laughter, leaps three feet into the air, and falls down dead without more ado. Cut to news type shot of commentator standing in front of the house.

Commentator:
This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden... violent... comedy.
Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.

Inspector:
I shall enter the house and attempt to remove the joke.

About now an upstairs window in the house is fiung open and a doctor, rears his head out, hysterical with laughter, and dies hanging over the window sill. The commentator and the inspector look up and then continue as if they are used to such sights.

Inspector:
I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records, and also by the chanting of laments by the men of Q Division...

(Points to a group of dour looking policemen standing nearby)

The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke.

(He gives a signal.)

The group of policemen start groaning and chanting biblical laments. The Dead March is heard. The inspector squares his shoulders and bravely starts walking into the house.

Commentator:
There goes a brave man. Whether he comes out alive or not,
this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous
and gallant acts in police history.

The inspector suddenly appears at the door,
helpless with laughter, holding the joke aloft.
He collapses and dies.
Cut to film of army vans driving along dark roads.

Voice Over:
It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. Under top security, the joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War.

Cut to door at Ham House.
Soldier on guard comes to attention as dispatch rider
hurries in carrying armoured box.

Notice on door:
"Conference. No Admittance"

Dispatch rider rushes in.
A door opens for him and closes behind him.
We hear a mighty roar of laughter...
A series of doomphs as the commanders hit the floor or table. Soldier outside does not move a muscle.

Cut to a pillbox on the Salisbury Plain.
Track in to slit to see moustachioed top brass
peering anxiously out.

Voice Over:
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.

Cut to shot looking out of slit in pillbox.
Camera zooms through slit to distance where a solitary figure is standing on the windswept plain.
He is a bespectacled, weedy lance-corporal (Terry Jones) looking cold and miserable.
Pan across to fifty yards away where two helmeted soldiers are at their positions beside a blackboard on an easel covered with a cloth.
Cut in to corporal's face-registening complete lack of comprehension as well as stupidily.
Man on top of pillbox waves flag.
The soldiers reveal the joke to the corporal.
He peers at it, thinks about its meaning,
snickers, and dies.
Two watching generals are very impressed.

Generals:
Fantastic.

Cut to a Colonel talking to camera.

Colonel:
All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital. But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.

Cut to a trench in the Ardennes. Members of the joke brigade are crouched holding pieces of paper with the joke on them.

Voice Over:
So, on July 8th, I944, the joke was first told to the enemy
in the Ardennes...

Commanding NCO:
Tell the... joke.

Joke Brigade:
(together)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Pan out of the British trench across war-torn landscape and come to rest where presumably the German trench is. There is a pause and then a group of Germans rear up in hysterics.

Voice Over:
It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke...

Cut to a film of Chamberlain brandishing
the "Peace in our time" treaty.

...and one which Hitler just couldn't match.

Film of Hitler rally. Hitler speaks; subtitles are superimposed.

Hitler:
SUBTITLE
MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE

A young soldier responds:
SUBTITLE
HOW DOES HE SMELL?

Hitler:
SUBTITLE
AWFUL'

Voice Over:
In action it was deadly.

Cut to a small squad with rifles making their way through forest. Suddenly one of them sees something and gives signal at which they all dive for cover. From the cover of a tree he reads out joke.

Corporal:
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Sniper falls laughing out of tree.

Joke Brigade:
(c

...[Message truncated]

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#2 of 14 Posted Nov-4 6:07 PM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Tony Tiger [Msg # 74213.2 74213.1 ]

LOL

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#3 of 14 Posted Nov-6 3:55 PM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Tony Tiger [Msg # 74213.3 74213.1 ]

watched the vid. My Wee Lass LOVES Python humor and is showing the bit to all her friends.

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#4 of 14 Posted Nov-8 3:55 AM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To DEKE [Msg # 74213.4 74213.3 ]

My Wee Lass LOVES Python humor and is showing the bit to all her friends.

Wee Lass is 14—and a Python geek?

Blake

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#5 of 14 Posted Nov-8 12:29 PM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Blake [Msg # 74213.5 74213.4 ]

>>Wee Lass is 14—and a Python geek?<<

Yeah, who would have ever thought teens would like Python?

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#6 of 14 Posted Nov-12 2:57 AM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To DEKE [Msg # 74213.6 74213.5 ]

Yeah, who would have ever thought teens would like Python?

Well, not teens who didn't play D&D.

Blake

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#7 of 14 Posted Nov-12 10:01 AM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Blake [Msg # 74213.7 74213.6 ]

>>Well, not teens who didn't play D&D.<<

Yer crazy. Teens still love that movie. It's gone viral around the wee lass' school.

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#8 of 14 Posted Nov-13 3:26 AM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To DEKE [Msg # 74213.8 74213.7 ]

Yer crazy. Teens still love that movie. It's gone viral around the wee lass' school.

Which one? When I was a kid Holy Grail was the most popular.

I preferred Life of Brian, myself. It has the most cohesive story.

Blake

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#9 of 14 Posted Nov-13 1:36 PM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Blake [Msg # 74213.9 74213.8 ]

>>Which one? When I was a kid Holy Grail was the most popular.<<

Yep, that's the one.

>>I preferred Life of Brian, myself. It has the most cohesive story.<<

I really liked LOB, not as much as Grail. But to enjoy LOB you have to have a thorough education in Christianity yet not take it so serious as to think God doesn't have a sense of humor. I remember when it debuted. My preacher went crazy in the pulpit about how blasphemous it was.

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#10 of 14 Posted Nov-13 11:24 PM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To DEKE [Msg # 74213.10 74213.9 ]

I really liked LOB, not as much as Grail. But to enjoy LOB you have to have a thorough education in Christianity yet not take it so serious as to think God doesn't have a sense of humor. I remember when it debuted. My preacher went crazy in the pulpit about how blasphemous it was.

The Pythoners are themselves split as to whether it's blasphemous or not.

Cleese, who loves being transgressive, insists that it is. Palin (or is it Jones?) not so much.

I don't see it has blasphemous at all, myself. I think it's a pretty spot-on picture of human frailty.

Blake

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#11 of 14 Posted Nov-13 11:29 PM

From DEKE Posts 7163 Last 8:54 AM
To Blake [Msg # 74213.11 74213.10 ]

>>I think it's a pretty spot-on picture of human frailty.<<

Frailty? How about stupidity.

And I'm not saying it is stupid to believe in JC, just that people do stupid things when given the opportunity. In the name of God, people followed and worshiped Jim Jones and David Koresh and there will be plenty more to come.

The stoning scene is just about perfect.

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#12 of 14 Posted Nov-14 5:22 AM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To DEKE [Msg # 74213.12 74213.11 ]

Frailty? How about stupidity.

Yes, stupidity would be a frailty. But not the only one.

The stoning scene is just about perfect.

All I said was, "this meat's good enough for Jehovah!"

Blake

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#13 of 14 Posted Nov-14 10:10 PM

From Burt Posts 8314 Last 1:38 PM
To Blake [Msg # 74213.13 74213.10 ]

<<Cleese, who loves being transgressive>>

God, we have so much in common! I love being transgressive too.

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#14 of 14 Posted Nov-17 8:27 PM

From Blake Posts 2543 Last 5:21 AM
To Burt [Msg # 74213.14 74213.13 ]

God, we have so much in common! I love being transgressive too.

Transgressive, not transvestite.

I know you're just being an asshole here, but I'm just stating the facts: John Cleese likes to transgress. He knows it. I know it. Graham Chapman knew it.